The Humanising Effect of the Well-timed Selfie

I’m posting this photo from an excursion I took in South-West China just yesterday. Before raising my camera, the people on this tourist bus were keeping to themselves. Afterwards, the whole bus erupted into joyful waves and shouts of “hello” in English.

Yes, the timing of this photo coincides with the Chinese government’s belligerent response to Pelosi’s provocative touchdown in Taiwan. Yes, there is a strand of disgusting ugly nationalism that is on the ascendancy in China, just as it is in many other parts of the world. But I’m posting this for the simple purpose to remind everyone that we should never equate a regime to its people. And we should never let the shrill voices of populists and isolationists deafen us to the humanity of others.


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Alamak! SPR RIP 2006-2022

Alamak! Today marks the end of my status as a Singapore Permanent Resident. SPR RIP 2006-2022. 🇸🇬🙏

Filing my final paperwork here at the Singapore Consulate in Shanghai, I couldn’t help but reminisce about what this status has meant to me over the years. Buying and selling two properties, setting up two companies, getting a driving license, employing three domestic workers, raising two dogs, the list goes on.

I haven’t lived there since 2012, but I will always consider Singapore to be a home from home. I will always have unquenchable cravings for mee siam, nasi padang, roti prata and ais kacang. And I will always remember the meanings of MRT, ERP, CBD, PIE, HDB, PAP, LTA, and - now most importantly - CPF.

As a fitting accompaniment to this event, Shanghai offered up a blazing 39℃ afternoon. So I marked the occasion with a sweaty walk home in the sun, a smile on my face and a twinkle in my eye.

Wa seng zao liao! See you again soon, Singapore.


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The Stars are Out

At last some positive news, China's newly-updated COVID-19 Control Protocol has removed the * on our ‘Green Arrow Codes’.

Theoretically, this means that travel will become unrestricted within the Chinese mainland. Until now, the * has denoted that you have been in a ‘Medium Risk Area’, which curtails your ability to travel to certain places. At one point earlier this year, I had collected three of them, and needed to quickly return home to Shanghai before my luck ran out.

Let’s see how this plays out, since the surprise announcement just came out today, and it might take a while for certain Provinces to change their policies. But for now, it’s a small step in the right direction.


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Surly Teenagers in a Mall

I’m posing like a surly teenager whose parents have allowed them to go to the local mall. Because that’s exactly how it feels like to be in Shanghai right now. We’ve been granted more freedom, but we still don’t have any agency, and there still isn’t much to do. So you end up mainly shuffling around like listless teenagers, bemoaning authority figures and their stupid rules. Some of our friends keep getting ‘grounded’ at home, and the same might happen to us, for reasons our teenage brains can’t process. It’s, like, so unfair.

So when people ask me how I’m doing, I usually find myself answering just like a teenager. I mumble something about being ‘OK’, while it’s quite clear that I’m being antisocial, short-tempered and petulant. But putting one foot after the other and ‘getting on with it’ is how I survived my teenage years, and that’s what I’m doing now. It’s an awkward phase I’m going through.


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An Impressive but Unsustainable Spectacle

So we’ve received a ticket which allows one person per household outside our residential compound for a few hours each day. And what greets us there is a facsimile of normal life. The streets are beginning to fill with people, one or two shops have started to open, and makeshift hair salons have popped up on every other corner. Back at home, things are also looking a little closer to normal. As supplies have started to become easier to obtain, we’ve slowly been emptying the fridge of ‘essentials’ and letting it fall back into its natural state: as a receptacle for alcohol mixers and neglected jars of condiments.

It feels like we’re finally coming to the end of our Shanghai lockdown story. When the dust has completely settled on the world’s response to the pandemic, we can have a grand debate about the chaos of freedom versus the tyranny of protection. But right now, the key verdict on the last three months is that China remains in zero-rush to relax its zero-COVID policy, exhibiting zero-interest in reintegrating into the rest of the world. So international folks will continue having a tough time trying to keep one foot in China and the other elsewhere. At this point we’re all Jean-Claude Van-Damme doing the splits on two slowly diverging Volvo trucks. An impressive spectacle, but not one that can be sustained forever.

For the last few weeks, I’ve been focusing most of my creative energy on writing these Shanghai updates for Denny and me. I’ve taken pains to strike a personal and balanced tone, being truthful to our own experience while trying not to misrepresent the experiences of others. This phase is now coming to an end, and I will soon pivot back to my usual creative outlet of producing the Mosaic of China podcast. I’m much more comfortable being a conduit for other people’s voices rather than dominating the full bandwidth with my own. But what will remain constant are the details about life in China that you usually can’t find anywhere else. Thank you for following our lockdown story. Hopefully from now on I’ll be back to posting with a little more variety, a little less frequency, and a lot less intensity.


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All the Feline Feels

You may have heard reports that Shanghai has ‘opened up’ following its harsh citywide lockdown. Let me quickly explain what this means.

There is a patchwork quilt of realities. Some lucky people have indeed already received 临时出入证 (temporary exit/entry passes), allowing them to leave their compounds, usually for a short time once a day. Others have been allowed out, only for that permission to be immediately revoked once some unknown local official begins to feel nervous about the optics of people exercising their right to freedom. And for residents whose compounds remain in total lockdown, they have the exotic torture of being congratulated on their freedom while sitting under continued house arrest.

In our case, the local neighbourhood committee has opened the lock on our gate, but has not removed it. So it continues to hang ominously, silently proclaiming: “We can easily lock you up again, whenever we want”. We haven’t received any official passes, so our notion of freedom is entirely synthetic. But we took the chance to take an unofficial walk around the block, and the cat in the window of this local pet-shop sums up our emotional longing all too accurately.

The logical interpretation of an open lock is that it’s a ‘hopeful sign’. Maybe it is, and maybe we will receive our official 临时出入证 soon. With no residents in our compound testing positive for COVID-19 in all 64 days of lockdown, we’ve been conditioned to not seeing any correlation between hopeful signs and happy outcomes. And for the time being, shops, restaurants, and even parks all remain closed. So the best case scenario is that we can visit this cat through the glass again tomorrow. 🐈🪟


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Piazza Privilege

This post is about privilege. Today we decided to use our tiny balcony to pretend that we were in an Italian piazza rather than stuck in our Shanghai apartment. This weekend we made a feast out of the fanciest cheeses and cold cuts from our fridge. We’ve recently watched Dune, The Power of the Dog, West Side Story and CODA, all from the comfort of our (increasingly sagging) couch. And we’re surrounded by neighbours in our compound who have been very kind and supportive to one-another throughout these harsh few weeks of confinement. Even though we’ve lost our freedom for a total of 56 days and counting, we’re still luckier than 99% of people in Shanghai.

Living for so long in China starts to make you a little inured to the all-pervasive miasma of state power. So your messages of support over the last couple of months have not just been a massive morale booster, but also a useful reminder that this hasn’t been ‘normal’, and there is such a thing as individual human dignity. Having said that, it has been a little uncomfortable to read comments about our “bravery” and “endurance”, when in fact for the most part we’ve been able to wallow in the luxury of denial and disassociation. That’s the power of privilege, even in times like these.

We’ve certainly had our lows. This whole time, Denny has been working from home with a broken hand. And while I’ve been telling myself that I’m functioning fine, my body has been telling me that I’m not. One day let me regale you with all the fun and creative symptoms it came up with. But for now, I’m taking a cue from the weather and am starting the week with a sunnier disposition. Parts of Shanghai are supposedly opening up this week. No doubt there will be many days of continued false hope and confusion before this means anything to us. Until then, I’ll be in my Italian piazza. Finché c'è vita c'è speranza.


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Dystopia Level Silver

So we’ve reached the crappy milestone of our 50th day of lockdown in Shanghai. That’s 9 days in March, and 41 consecutive days since April 1st. Dystopia Level Silver unlocked.

Despite official reports that the number of cases are going down, the lockdown has perversely become even stricter. In our district, more barricades are going up; fewer deliveries are being allowed; and now if even one person tests positive in your building, *everyone* gets carted off to central quarantine. It’s yet another doubling down on the exponential lunacy of Zero-COVID. What once could be seen as a policy with some degree of merit has long since become detached from the bounds of logic. The same singular strategy that has prevented us from stepping outside of China since February 2020 is now preventing us from stepping outside of our compound. Zero-COVID has overtaken Omicron in terms of its indiscriminate menace.

We’re surviving on a diet of cheap distractions. Denny has something called a ‘job’, which appears to keep him busy. Apart from that, it’s down to the basic routines of eating, drinking, and looking at willies on the internet. The whole city has taken a bumpy nosedive down Maslow’s pyramid, and we still don’t know when we’ll reach rock bottom.

We’re so lucky to be locked in together. We’re a good team: he does most of the cooking and cleaning; while I do most of the deliveries and dishwashing, and quiet sobbing in a foetal position. Despite a universe of anxiety, our little solar system is still spinning on its constant axis of jokes and hugs. I would rather not have another 50 days of this. But I’m grateful that we’ve been through it together.


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China as an Overbearing Parent

A few residential compounds have started to open up in Shanghai, and there’s hope that this represents the beginning of the end of this harsh city lockdown. In our case, one of our neighbours has been entrusted with the key to the lock on our gate, and she has started to leave it unlocked at random times of the day. We have no idea how this seemingly arbitrary decision got made, or by whom. But we’re in no mood to enquire; we just want to take a walk around the block.

There’s no thought of celebrating yet, while so many of our friends remain behind closed doors. Besides, the streets remain empty; shops remain closed; and everyone is nervous that the slightest uptick in positive COVID cases may put us all back to square one. And square one is where most of the city still languishes, just by luck of the lockdown lottery.

The two questions we’ve recently been asked the most are: 1) Why is China doing this? And 2) Why would anyone now wish to remain in Shanghai? To answer the first question, I would need to explain how China works, and only an idiot would try to suggest one unifying theory. So here’s mine.

China seriously cares for its people. That’s a fact. But it cares for them as a 1.4 billion collective, not as 1.4 billion individuals. China is an overbearing parent looking after their single child. They only want the best for it. They let it play, albeit under very tight supervision. They tell it what to do, and scold it when it steps out of line. No nuance; no negotiation. Does an overbearing parent always know what’s best for their child? And when other parents offer them unsolicited advice or criticism, does an overbearing parent get offended?

It’s an only child: the child is one; the child is indivisible. The parent does not need to understand each of the 1.4 billion individual cells that constitutes their child. Why would the concept of a cell even occur to them? The same goes for certain clusters of cells, certain organs and systems. If the parent feels that they’re keeping the child in general good health, does it matter to them what a tonsil does? Or a gallbladder, or an endocrine system? So long as China feels that it’s keeping 1.4 billion people in indivisible harmony, then what do the needs of a specific minority group matter? Or a city? Or a functioning system of public discourse? There’s a fundamental disconnect between the pure parental love of the child, and the complicated tangle of biology beneath its skin.

Most people outside of China (and some of us within!) just view the situation from the perspective of the cell. But in making this entirely accurate assessment, we’re also missing half the picture. The cells are also the child is also the cells. So an average individual in China feels both loved and unloved at the same time. Hugged too tight, and heedlessly ignored. Schrödinger was late to the game, the Chinese have understood the paradox of yin and yang for centuries. Today’s China is a mixture of Confucius, Han Feizi and Mao. While from the outside, we only see it through the prism of Beckett, Kafka, and Orwell.

So having lived through China’s recent metaphorical heart attack in Shanghai, we need to turn to the second question: why would anyone who has a choice decide to remain in China?

This is a question that every person must answer individually, so I can only speak for myself. My answer is that cross-cultural experience isn’t just about traveling the world comparing delicious desserts. You can learn more from panic attacks than you can from patisseries. Would I prefer to be eating pear tarts in Paris right now? Oui. But do I also value being able to think like I do, and view the world like I do? And at exactly what point does that privilege come at a price that I’m no longer willing to pay?

Making the decision to stay or leave one place or another is always a question of principle and practicality. When the effects of COVID-19 were ravaging your city, did you break your lease, quit your job, cut ties with your community, and relocate? It would be understandable if you had, but just as understandable if you hadn’t. We won’t stay in China forever; at some point the winds of fate that blew us here will also blow us away. Until then, we’re going to continue making the most out of our time in this land of paradox.


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Silent Protest

Our compound has officially been designated as unsealed. But surprise surprise… it’s not. This is the 35th day that Denny and I have spent behind our gate, and no-one can adequately explain why these unsealing ‘rules’ don’t apply to us. Somebody somewhere has decided that it’s just easiest to keep us behind a padlock.

We’re still totally fine. It’s not that we’re getting used to it; we’re just trying to let the nonsense wash over us. The good news is that we’re no longer constantly worrying about food supplies. Government rations and collective purchases arrive in bulk at random intervals, triggering impromptu rounds of Vegetable Tetris and Egg Jenga. Most of our neighbours are Chinese, so these deliveries skew towards the dumpling and the wonton. There’s sadly no chance of organising group purchases of Haribo and Valium.

We’ve both been receiving little burns and cuts to our hands, evidence not only of how much time we’re spending preparing food, but also of our general cognitive decline. In the shower this morning, I forgot whether I had already shampooed or not. So maybe I did it twice today, I honestly don’t know.

I can’t speak for the whole city, each compound has it’s own set of circumstances, and all I can do is describe our own. One unifying factor is that we’ve all been asked to share photos of our negative test results in community WeChat groups, so at least these have become a creative outlet for silent protest. Apart from that, there’s nothing any of us can do but continue playing our parts in this theatre of the absurd.


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Digital Scavenging

So far Denny and I have been locked into our compound - in 2 stints - for a total of 24 days. In all this time there has never once been a positive case of COVID-19 in our lane, and it’s becoming clear that this fact doesn’t have any bearing on our ongoing collective imprisonment. We’re getting a little taste of what it means to be under extra-judicial house arrest. Shanghai has temporarily become a city of ten thousand modern gleaming mini Warsaw ghettos.

Before you worry, Denny and I are still doing fine. I’m checking in with friends and acquaintances across the city, and they’re also all doing fine, to varying degrees. None of us will starve. But on a daily basis we are all being forced to reflect on our primal needs for food, freedom, shelter and sanitation. In Chinese, one of the most common ways of greeting someone is ”吃饭了吗?” meaning “Have you eaten?” It’s only now that I’m realising the history of deprivation that must lie behind that phrase. Today, the first thing we say to each other over calls and texts is: “Do you have enough food”?

If you ask anyone in Shanghai what they’re doing, the answer will most likely revolve around food. Digital scavenging for online provisions before they sell out; keeping up with hundreds of text messages to bid for collective purchases; doing inventories of fridges and rearranging the contents in order of what’s rotting first; rationing ingredients; planning meals; preparing meals; cooking meals; washing up after meals: it’s an endless obsessive cycle. And a short sharp kick in the backside to a city that had become reliant on an over-abundance of restaurants and delivery services. Fancy diets are out the window at this point. We’re counting our carrots, preserving our potatoes, and oil is liquid gold.

This level of food scarcity may well be familiar to many who experienced some kind of lockdown over the last two years. But it’s freedom that’s in just as short supply in Shanghai. I don’t want to go into all of that right now. But let it be another wake-up call to those who complained about being encouraged to take vaccines, or politely asked to wear masks in grocery stores. Please have some perspective, your human rights will be just fine.

We’re still keeping healthy and happy, and in the last couple of days we’ve managed to get our hands on some butter, frozen steaks, and wine. This already makes us feel like some of the luckiest people in the city. So I’m not trying to elicit sympathy with this post, I just want to keep everyone up to date. Many many thanks to everyone who has been in touch, it really means a lot. I don’t plan on writing other updates after this, so you can assume that this will be the status quo until further notice. That’s going to be our assumption too.


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A Small Taste of Freedom?

Some positive news. 😊

Firstly, we managed to secure some supplies of food through a combined purchase with 2 other neighbouring compounds. 🍚🍎🍊🥛

Secondly, we left the compound for 10 minutes for a streetside COVID test, our first small taste of freedom in 5 days. ☀️🆓☀️

And finally, I suddenly remembered that we had some spare wheat beer that was gifted to us by Peter Fuchs just before we went on a wheat-free diet. So we decided to donate it to our compound, and brought a few smiles to the community. 😍🍻


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Guys, You Can’t Control Omicron

Here’s a quick roundup of our personal situation in Shanghai right now.

We initially had a 9-day lockdown, after which we had 6 days of freedom. Now we’re on day 7 of our second lockdown, which has been even harsher than the first. But there are some people who have been locked in for the entire 3 week period. And others have tested positive for COVID-19 and have been carted off to central quarantine, separated from children and pets. So the situation for us isn’t as bad as others in Shanghai.

The food supply chain has practically ground to a halt, and grocery deliveries are almost impossible. Some of the larger residential compounds have been able to organise bulk orders from a few suppliers. But smaller compounds like ours have no buying power. For the first time, all the people in our compound have formed a group on WeChat, and it’s a full-time job to keep up with our collective attempts to bulk-purchase essentials such as eggs, milk, bread and apples. We have somehow managed to form an alliance with a couple of the other neighbouring lanes, so here’s hoping we can successfully manage something soon. In the meantime none of us are allowed to leave our individual apartments, and the gate to our compound remains locked from the outside. For the last few days, the only delivery we have personally received has been a care package of 10 eggs, some cured pork, and some weird powdered medicine.

We still have
- Netflix
- Booze
- Negative COVID test results
- Enough food for the next few days

We’re running low on
- Everything else

Despite all this, we’re doing OK. The sun is shining, the air is clean, and we’re keeping ourselves active and happy. It is what it is. In Shanghai we’ve had it easier than most others around the globe until now, so now it’s our turn. And all this is nothing compared to some parts of the world, where people are sheltering in basements rather than cosy apartments, with even less access to food and water, listening to their homes and schools and hospitals being bombed. 💙🙏🇺🇦💛

You’ll notice that at this point I’m not at all worried about COVID-19 itself. We’re triple vaccinated, and the omicron variant is both low-risk and near impossible to control. Let’s hope that the authorities here can come to the same conclusion soon. In their noble efforts to take care of the people of Shanghai, they’re demonstrating the true meaning of the phrase “killing us with kindness”. 😞


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2022 Reads Like '2020 Too'

As you have probably read, China is experiencing its worst COVID-19 outbreak since early 2020, and around 40 million people across the country are currently on some kind of lockdown.

As I was attempting to leave our compound to get a cup of coffee this morning, I realised that this number now includes Denny and me.

The good news is that for now it’s just for 48 hours, we’re still allowed food deliveries, and the mandatory testing station is conveniently located at the school next door. The policeman guarding our gate was happy to take this photo.

We’re not the only ones in this situation, many of our friends in Shanghai also woke up to the same thing. Which is why for us, 2022 reads like “2020 too”.


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Geopolitical Quagmire

We’ve traveled to the North East of China, to the ski resort of Beidahu. Planned weeks ago, it now comes as a welcome distraction from doom-scrolling through news apps.

I have Russian friends and I have Ukrainian friends, and none of them support this war. I have Swiss friends, and I have Turkish friends, and none of them predicted this fleeting moment of unity. I have American friends and Chinese friends, and we can all agree on the need to create the conditions that will force a diplomatic off-ramp.

I’m the son of refugees from the Soviet invasion of Czechoslovakia in 1968. It took over 20 years to even begin untangling that mess. And right now I’m on a ski trip not far from North Korea, another decades-long geopolitical quagmire.

I’m just hoping that we’re not witnessing the birth of yet another one. 🇷🇺🌏🇺🇦


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Interview with the China-Britain Business Council

These days I have a love/hate relationship with the label ‘entrepreneur’. But the life of an independent content creator and an entrepreneur is very similar. You can be fueled with pride for your mission one day, and paralysed with doubt and self-loathing the next. But with the help of positive people around you, you do have the chance to live comfortably with this creative tension, and preserve your equilibrium.


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Inner Mongolia & Ningxia

I would just like to say something categorical. I’m D.O.N.E. with this whole ‘living through history’ nonsense. "May you live in interesting times"? May you kiss my sweaty ass.

I’m sorry, I know there are many people who have had a truly awful time. Which is why I have allowed myself just this one privileged tantrum in 18 months.

I still can’t re-enter China on my visa if I leave, and there’s no end in sight. So we escaped Shanghai again to give me another sanity reset. Normal service will resume shortly.

Inner Mongolia 内蒙古 and Ningxia 宁夏 are both areas of China where minority cultures struggle for authentic representation. But we did our best to find it!

Hope you like the compilation video.
☀️🛖 🏞🐴🍷


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Inconveniently Different

My trip this week is in the contentious region of Xinjiang, which you may have heard about in the news.

I live in China, where it’s not possible to have an open public discussion about these things. But here’s what I will say.

I believe to my core that a society should not be judged on how it treats its majority. That’s actually the easy part. A society should be judged on how it treats those who are most ‘inconveniently different’ to the majority.

Maybe that’s the Aboriginals in Australia; the Roma (gypsies) in Eastern Europe; the Rohingya in Myanmar; the Kurds in Turkey; the list goes on and on, and there’s one in your society too. You could even argue that the Trans Rights and the Black Lives Matter movements belong in this same awkwardly named category.

Please take a moment to think about the most ‘inconveniently different’ person near you. And in the meantime, here’s a photo I took today of a cute Uighur boy playing with a bucket. 👦🏻🪣


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The New Normal in Shanghai

I’m conscious that for some people, I’m the only person they know on the ground in China. It’s been a while since I posted anything about the pandemic situation here. So here’s a quick update from today, October 21st 2020.

At this point we have avoided a large-scale second wave. But there are still localised sporadic outbreaks, after which that particular area goes back into a mini-lockdown. Testing, contact-tracing, the works. Right now there’s one in the city of Qingdao, a city on the Northeastern seaboard. During this period, anyone traveling back from a newly infected area goes into quarantine again. But all the while, the entire rest of the country continues as normal. And after a couple of weeks, the city comes out of lockdown and rejoins the rest of the country.

“Normal” feels pretty normal at this point in Shanghai. Many people still wear masks, but mainly as a courtesy. They’re only mandatory on public transport, at airports, and in other places where people might congregate in larger numbers. I never leave the house without at least having one in my pocket. It’s the same story with the health tracker on our phones, we’re always ready to show the code when asked, but these instances are getting rarer. Some buildings still take your temperature before allowing you to enter, but again it isn’t mandatory across the board. Most places are back to 100% occupancy.

Like everywhere else, we don’t know what tomorrow will bring. But this is a quick snapshot of life in Shanghai right now.

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Cassiopeia

🎵💥Cassiopeia by Sara Bareilles

• 🎧 Listen #1: That’s a kooky little song. Catchy chorus.

• 🎧 Listen #2: Oh there’s that weird song again. I don’t think much of the ending. But that chorus still gets me. What the hell, I’ll buy it.

• 🎧 Listen #10: OK I‘ve worked out why I like this chorus. The choices she has made with the harmony are sublime. Good stuff.

• 🎧 Listen #11: Maybe I should stop listening to the second chorus on repeat. I’ll play it all the way through.

• 🎧 Listen #12: Wait, what the hell are these lyrics anyway?

• 🎧 Listen #15: This is actually quite clever. A lonely star dreaming of love. And there’s some nice little wordplay on constellations and supernovas and whatnot. Cute.

• 🎧 Listen #20: Hold on, those lyrics aren’t just cheap puns about space. “She dreamed of a way to ignite”; “Lightyears alway from the hope of being sun-kissed”; “She burns with desperation”; “They both smiled: what a day to explode”; “Break me to pieces”; “Let’s see what a fire feels like”. MY HEART ACHES.

• 🎧 Listen #25: I’ve just noticed the extra percussion ‘collisions’ in the chorus. How the hell did I miss those until now?!

• 🎧 Listen #26: Oh, the drums are heartbeats. I’ve been a fool.

• 🎧 Listen #30: “A supernova grew up to be stardust”. Holy shit, I finally get the ending. This song is so perfect, I’m gonna puke.

• 🎧 Listen #Gajilion: How can someone create an entire world out of a 4-minute song? I need to write a public love-letter to Sara Bareilles, and herald her genius and humanity to the galaxy.

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